Breaking News from Iran

The following is a satirical look at the president of Iran (aka Mr. Microphone for Glenn Beck) 22 June 2006 We have received breaking news out of Iran from President A full of rage.

We were also able to obtain a copy/translation from Hameen Husani Jael of the speech which follows. My fellow Iranians and any Muslim brothers,

Recently, the Iranian soccer team was defeated during the 2006 World Cup. This is an embarrassment to the entire Iranian country and to all Muslims throughout the world. As a result of this blasphemous event, I am issuing the following statements:

1. Branko Ivankovic: You are a complete idiot! The only other incompetent moron I know besides you is President George W. Bush. Because you have brought this shame upon Iran, I will have your head removed from your body. The video of this beheading will be sent to Al-Jazeera television. You will no longer be able to teach your weak and pathetic brand of American soccer. No 40 virgins for you, because you teach USA brand soccer! 2. Angola: Angola!!?? Is that even a country? My staff provided me a map to find this country. We have now renamed the Tehran facility to The Angola Nuclear Enrichment Center or ANEC for short, even though we don't supposedly have them. You may even find one parked in your back yard. Down with Angola scum!!! Who is Angola again? Your oil supply has been cut off.

3. Israel: We will wipe you off the face of the earth. . . what does this have to do with us being beat in the World Cup, you ask? Absolutely nothing, but we will still wipe you off the face of the earth. 4. President Bush: Our loss was clearly your fault. Everything is your fault. Hurricane Katrina is your fault. The war in Iraq is your fault as well as the 145 degree temperatures in Iran during the summer. No longer will you be able to drive your SUV's, fly your private jets, and travel to your worthless MLS soccer games.

The oil supply has been cut off!! The great country of Iran will no longer export oil to any of these infidels.

Special thanks to